Why being a perfectionist might not be the perfect way to live
And how it affects your decision making
Have you ever found yourself stuck in limbo, unable to make a decision that moves you forward in life? When you can’t decide between this or that, yes or no? So you just stay where you are, not moving forwards or backwards.
If the answer to these questions is yes, you’re not alone.
You might get stuck in a thought loop about what option to pick, frantically evaluating each one, comparing and anticipating outcomes. God knows how many pros and cons lists I’ve made and discarded. But have you ever considered that your indecision might not be situational, but rooted in something that needs deeper understanding?
Having been in this situation more times than I can count now, I was determined to find the cause of my indecisiveness and fix it.
You’re not perfect!
And you don’t want to be.
Perfectionists live with the constant worry that every step they take may not be - you guessed it - perfect. Before taking any decision or choosing the next step, they may be filled with dread about the various ways the decision can turn out and might spend hours, maybe even days, going over the possible outcomes. While they strive to be perfect in what they do, this might come at the cost of dropping off SO many ideas just because it’s not perfect in their head!
As a result, here are some things that might happen:
- Taking too much time on a task/procrastinating or as a perfectionist would say, striving to achieve perfection
- Leaving tasks unfinished
- Focusing on outcomes instead of the process
- Being unhappy with your progress
Okay, I am a perfectionist but how does it make me indecisive?
Striving to take a perfect decision might throw you into a loop of evaluation and over-evaluation of the present and the future, contemplation of what potential outcome you deem perfect, and consideration of the various ways things can go wrong. This would typically leave you with decision paralysis, a state wherein you’ve spent way too much time but made no progress in reality.
It’s okay to make mistakes!
A perfectionist will try his best to not make a mistake. However, fearing the possibility of making a mistake, he might not end up doing anything at all.
What we need to realise that making a mistake and learning from it is SO much better being stagnant and unhappy where we are!
So the next time you know you need a change but can’t decide what to do, take that leap. Make that potential mistake. You can be assured that one way or another, you’ll be in a better space than you were before!
This article is inspired by an introspection session I had thanks to a psychological training app called Intellect. Check it out here.